My Anjelah Johnson Moment

If you haven't seen it yet, Anjelah Johnson, a stand-up comic, has a bit about her experiences in getting a manicure. Please watch before continuing on.

As you can see, she's absolutely hilarious in describing how she simply went in for a basic manicure; however, the manicurist, who is clearly Asian, keeps talking her into more services. The manicurists delivery is so nonchalant and convincing that Anjelah simply has to agree and her bill continues to go up.

I tell you this because, as a man, I couldn't relate. I had one manicure in my life but, as a man, polish and extensions were clearly not an option so the manicurist didn't even present any options. My only experience was a simple in-and-out process. No big deal and no upselling. That is, until today...

No, I didn't get a manicure; but rather, I went in to get my beard trimmed for an upcoming job interview. In all previous beard trims, I simply told the barber what I wanted, he/she complied, I gave them money, they thanked me, and I left. However, today was a little different.

Me: "Yes, I'd like a trim and if you could shape it that would be great."

Her (asian): "Trim and shave, no problem."

Me: "No, trim and shaPe!"

Her: "Yeah yeah, trim and shape, das what I say."

(after)

Her: "You neck is hairy, I shave? It look very clean."

Me: "Yes, that would be great, thank you."

(after)

Her: "I do eye brows? You look good, get job."

Me: "Uh, yeah, sounds good."

(after)

Her: "I use beard oil? It make it shiny. You look handsome!"

Me: "Yeah, sure."

(after)

Her: "I shave ears. Looks funny."

Me: "I don't want to look funny."

Her: "Yeah yeah, I fix."

(after)

Her: "I use hot towel, open pores, good for skin."

Me: "okay."

(after)

Her: "I rub your shoulders?"

Me: "I'm good, thanks,"

Her: "No, I rub shoulders, you relax, do good in interview."

Me: "No, really, I'm fine."

Her: "No, I do it, you get job, you thank me."

Me: "Thank you."

Her: "No, you thank me later, after you get job."

(after)

Her: "Okay, you done!"

Me: "Great! What do I owe you?"

Her: "$25.00"

Me: "I thought it was $10.00."

Her: "You get deluxe package. Neck shave, hot towel, oil, ......"

Me: "I GET IT!"

$30.00 later, I walked out, laughing as I realized I just had my very own Anjelah Johnson moment.

Ladies, now I get it! I feel your pain! The funny part is, I'll go back to her in two weeks and go through it all over again.  

My Apology to Everyone

Dear Followers, Facebook Friends, Friends, Family, and anyone who has happened upon my blog!

I voted today. After months of getting angry, railing, bitching, and moaning, I completed my ballot! I selected my choice for President, voted for/against some of the propositions, ignored the one's I knew nothing about, sealed the envelope and placed it in the mailbox. I am done!

After my selections were made, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I made my decision and, with that, everything I saw on Facebook and mainstream media no longer seemed to matter. My head was clear and my thoughts were succinct. Colors seemed brighter and food tasted better. I heard the sounds of nature that I tuned out for the past few months and life seemed better. All was fine until I reflected on my actions over the course of this years election and realized...I've been an asshole.

Dear Arrogant College Student!

If you really want a true representation of the people that make up our society, skip Facebook and become an Über driver. Whereas Your Facebook feed is largely comprised of your "friends" that commonly share your political and societal leanings, and the ability to block those that have opposing viewpoints, Über has no filters. You genuinely have ZERO idea of what you are getting yourself into, and once there, you're stuck!The worst? Being stuck with a college student.